After a recent suggestions from a fan (rhymes with weave) of Todder's Playhouse I decided to make this a questions post. This post is open to any and all questions you would like answered by Todd. If I deem the questions important enough to answer I will then write a response post to your question.
I lack a little confidence in the Ask Todd section because my other posts where I've asked for responses from viewers are rarely answered (which I stay awake at night and cry because of). But I can't resist a chance to help my fans and so I feel it my duty to respond to your needs. So please, if you have any questions on life, the way things work, the birds and the bees, anything, leave a comment on this post and your question shall be answered.
About Me
- The Bod
- I am not typically a man of blogging, but will become one in order to pass a class. I am known far and wide for my skills on the Tomball court and never miss a chance to flatter my self. I am frequently seen laughing at my own jokes with no one else joining in on the laughter. I am tall, dark, and handsome and can grow facial hair at an astonishing rate.
68 comments:
Pitch: Attack of the killer tomatoes meets california raisins. Who would you pick to act as the raisins ad killer tomatoes(real people in california raisin outfits and in killer tomatoe outfits). what instrument/weapon would they use, and what would the outcome be.
Todd,
When is it acceptable to wear a hockey jersey?
Weave
Yello?
I got a great question for you Todders ... If I have a 95% chance of hitting my spots with the John-ball, am I an unstoppable force in Chinese Wiffleball?
When am I going to be featured on your blog? You know I'm attention depraved.
Dear Todd,
I have become very unhappy with my body lately and am considering undergoing a change. Villanova girls seem to be over the whole "devilishly handsome human" thing- I think they're looking for something a little more exotic.
That said, I'd like your help in choosing what body to inhabit (purely for the sake of picking up chicks). Would a villanova girl like:
A big Sexual Robot?
http://www.craphound.com/images/freerobotsex.jpg
A holy, long-necked dino?
http://www.sirlin.net/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/jesus_dinosaur.JPG
Or an alien?
http://www.oddee.com/_media/imgs/articles/a99_jackson.jpg
I look forward to your response. The fate of the world (or at least my love life) depends on it.
Would it be possible for you to make todder's playhouse t-shirts, and then have contests where the winner gets a shirt? I'd recommend a big picture of your bearded face on a t-shirt with todder's playhouse on the back.
At the very least you could have a competition about thinking of a cool slogan for the site and/or the future t-shirts. Some brief suggestions...
"Todder's advice...unshaved"
"Todder's Playhouse, no Bics allowed"
"Educating you one handle bar mustache at a time"
"A place to pick out your belly button lint"
How much should I sell my burl for? I have it all stashed in the back of my pick-up, and I just don't know what to quote the price as. I think it is losing value as we speak. Please help.
My fake cat Charles died the other day...he was runover by a lawnmower and his body parts were thrown all over the lawn...now everytime I see a cat I either a.) puke b.) cry or c.)both...my question is: what should I do...
When you go to sleep at night do you dream of a forest of beards? If you do, is one of the beards yours?
Dear the BOD
I have a dilema
I recently graduated college and got a new job. Congradulations to me right? WRONG no. Unfortunately and unlike you I can't grow a beard. All the people that work with me have some sort of facial hair, whether it is a superb and neatly trimmed handle bar mustache or a sloppy full grown beard that has nacho chips and dried saliva still attached to it. Do you understand my problem, what am i supposed to do. I have suspicions that they talk about me at work behind my back and make fun of my lack of hair growing ability.
My first option was to look on the internet for help. At first i noticed that there are options to have facial hair surgicly implanted but it seems too dangerous for me. Did you have this done? Second I can order hair from india where people grow hair even pubic! and you can buy it by the pound. How much would you recommend i buy? do you think 1 pound would be enough?
Also any other tips you have for supreme facial hair growing would be much appreciated.
My mother was born in england and my father was born in africa but is white if that helps explain why I have failure.
Is it true people grow beards to prove they are manly when they have small penis?
todder,
HOW (not why) do cat's claws retract? I've been surfing the net and haven't found a satisfying answer. I figured since you have a beard you might know. so lets hear it. thanks for your time.
First off, I have a new slogan "Blogging makes me feel invincible" and second I have a question: Why are asians so fast? Is it because they historically are shown to have smaller limbs? Or is it simply due to their inherent magical powers?
DEAR THE BOD
I really want to grow a beard but unfortunately my facial hair grows slow.
If i want to grow a nice beard i will have to go through a "trashy" phase where it will look gross like that kid in high school who was growing a beard at age 14.
Although i have faith that this period of grossness will last 2 weeks until the beard flourishes better.
What should I do? Be gross for success or just be clean and smooth until i can reach rapid growth
Hey Bod,
When I was younger, probably still younger than you, but nonetheless I too would want to sleep in my parents bedroom. It seems as though it is accepted that that would be bad for your development as a child.
However, by all my accounts you and myself included have become such wonderful stunning individuals. So my question is, is it possibly better for the development of a young child to want to be close to his parents (via sleeping in their room) but then be disciplined not too to the point where you are so college and badass as an elementary student that you are significantly better prepared for your life compared to others in your age group? This is all compared to a "normal child" in "normal development" not having the desire for their parents room. Seems obvious that our hiccups at a young age put us ahead of the class, what's your take?
Write something about knight rider
The Bearded Bod,
How should one tip. Is it really ever acceptable to not leave anyting?
I have recently heard that women in South Korea and Italy are having hair transplanted to their nether regions. It is a sign of fertility. Do you think this trend will catch on in the US? Will we be seeing more hair down there in the future? How do you think I can find one of these fertile women?
what's your favorite number?
Hey Bod,
How much can a male use facebook until it starts to get a little weird? And does saying "tag that" everytime someone takes a photo of you ever get old?
for all those youngsters out there, what would you say the tell tale signs of a snow day would be? Also what are the telltale signs that if it starts snowing while you are in school that there will be an "earl dismissal?"
When you are playing tennis how important is the style in which you play?
Recently I was playing and an anonymous friend served like a girl but he insisted results over looks. Is this true?
All my sources say you're a Douglas Adams expert. With that said, what say you about a new Douglas Adams book not written by Douglas Adams.
Feel free to not answer this comment and post the news on your own.
Hi Todder. I'm a first time contributer, long time reader . I am currently living in an apartment complex in famous Los Angeles, California. A friend just brought to my attention that apparently Corey Haim is living in one of the apartments here. He has been seen by others hanging out around the hot tub but I myself have yet to see him. What should I do if I run into him? I don't want to blow it. Please help.
As a long time reader and by all standards a darn good contributor to the site, I was taken back by your Bod Says segment on All That. Am I the only one that didn't hate Lori Beth Denberg, Pierre Escargot, Kenan/Kel, and one of the Pete's? I agree Amanda Bynes sucked, you got me there. But an SNL for children with hiphop shows at the end? What's not to like Bod? Dare I say, the Ben says the Bod is mistaken? Is this one instance where the integrity of the advice has been shaved?
If you poop with a thong on do you think that the poop would split into half? Or would it simply be forced to one side of the thong?
I love to sing Boys II Men songs, yet my colleagues can't stand it. I have committed tons of time to hitting those high notes in "I'll Make Love To You", and those low notes in "When The Water Runs Dry". What should I do Todder? I feel I need to stand up for myself and keep singing away? What are your suggestions being quite the singer yourself?
Dear Lon's Son, aka God's Son,
I'm a white kid from the suburbs and I love rap music. I have a habit of spitting along with my favorite lyricists while their tunes are filling up my eardrums. Every once in a while these rappers use a word that is unacceptable for someone like me to repeat outloud so I tend to substitute that word with a synonym, but I really feel, and as a hip-hop head I think you'll agree, that it detracts from the authenticity of the music.
My question for you is whether or not it is ok to say the N word while singing along to rap music?
Todd,
It's the time of year where women arrive places with hard nips. What are some techniques to avoid letting these hotties see me looking at their nips.
Thanks Bro.
Hey Todd,
Who do you consider the top 5 women on the planet and why? Thanks.
Todd,
This is both an explanation and a question. It is widely thought that Michael Jordan was forced by the commish of the NBA to retire for a few years because he was caught gambling on the game. He didnt want to ban the greatest player of all time from basketball so he told him to lay low for a few years. Would this change your betrayed feeling or would it make it worse because he is also a degenerate gambler on top of a quitter.
Dear Todd,
Do you floss before or after you brush your teeth?
Bod-
So, I was creating my list of top 20 movies of 2008 and was curious to see your list of top movies of 2008. Whatchu got? We shall compare.
-The Best
Angel (or whoever currently cuts your hair),
Have you checked out the movie the minis? It stars Dennis Rodman playing bball with some little people. Didn't think double trouble could be topped but this could be close. Any thoughts?
Dear Todd,
Here's a free idea: Battle of the Beards
Preside over this: Jesus vs. Honest Abe Lincoln.
Todders,
Do you recall when you took a polaroid picture and there was something in the picture besides you and your friend? Mind elaborating and giving your opinion?
Todd,
You are one of the hairiest human beings on the planet. Whether its your facial hair, chest hair or hair on your extremities you are second to none. Has there been an instance where your hairiness has benefited you in some way. Thanks man. Keep up the good work.
Wodds:
What is your take on bathroom reading? Pointless, beneficial, or just gross if it's second hand reading that was left behind?
Dear TTG (Todd The God),
What was it like going through puberty at age 8?
Todd,
I lived with you for 2 years at Nova and your eating habits were interesting to say the least. Junior year you ate nothing but salmon, chicken and brown rice. Senior year you branched out to pasta, wawa subs and those lean cuisine things. Have your eating habits matured even more? Thanks man. Hope all is well.
What's harder for you: Not eating carbs? Or trying not to laugh at Dane Cook? Thoughts. Fears. Digressions.
Valentines Day should be changed to Val Day. It would then be a double entendre: not only could we celebrate our love for our significant others but for the pre-eminent force of nature that is Val Kilmer.
Bodd,
Let's play F***, Marry, Kill? You have Oprah, Rosanne and Whoopi. Please answer and explain why. Thanks.
whats the greatest invention of the last 50 years? Who is the greatest thinker of the last 100 years? What's the greatest sandwich created in the last 50 years? Where can I get this sandwich? If you could make a sandwich to sell to people what would it be? How could I get you to make me this sandwich? What makes a good sandwich? How many sandwiches in one day is two much (hint I used two)? And what are the 5 food groups and do you agree with them?
Wakka wakka wodder:
If I know it's going to be a sbd AND I'm at least 80% sure they can't blame it on me, is ok that I fart? I guess more generally, what's your rule of thumb in regards to farting?
I noticed that when I asked for a slogan competition I also wanted t-shirts, could you please give us a realistic update on that?
Also, do you really get spam comments where you actually need the word verification filter?
Bod Pod,
Who is the most unbelievable, mismatched couple in Hollywood? Personally, I think it is Macaulay Culkin and Mila Kunis. I may be biased because I think she is one of the hottest women on the planet and he is one of the weirdest but I believe I am not alone in my thought. Let me know. Thanks bro.
Yo,
Fighters: Abominable Snowman vs. Nessy the Loch Ness Monster.
Fight Location: A Volcano Island in the Arctic.
Who Wins? Who Dies? Who Refs?
Go!
Biochemical Oxygen Demand (BOD) is a chemical procedure for determining how fast biological organisms use up oxygen in a body of water. It is used in water quality management and assessment, ecology and environmental science. BOD is not an accurate quantitative test, although it could be considered as an indication of the quality of a water source.
I read further and it essentially is used to measure the effectiveness of wastewater treatment plants. Not so glorifying.
Are you upset that the acronym that is used to refer to you has such a boring and disgusting meaning?
I have a medical question that maybe you or Lon might be able to help me with. I fear there may be a dragon living inside my stomach. Thoughts?
Bod,
I'd like to switch it up from the weirdo questions you've been answering lately and talk sports. Who would you choose as the MVP of the NBA this year at this point. The general consensus is that it's between Kobe, Lebron and most recently Wade was added to the list. I realize a lot can change in the next few months but I wanted to see what Bod says. Thanks man.
If you had to give up one of these things for the rest of your life, which would you choose? Facial Hair, Cereal or Movies.
Bod,
I recently met a beautiful girl and I could tell she was into me. As I talked with her more and joked around I realized she had the most annoying/gross laugh ever created. It was somehow ear piercing and flemmy at the same time. She is real hot but it was a unbelievable turn-off. I found myself not wanting to make her laugh to avoid hearing it. What are your top 3 turn-offs in women? Thanks.
How much internet traffic does one need before they can actually put up annoying ads on the side of their site?
Growing up, some of my favorite comedic actors were Jim Carrey, Adam Sandler, Chris Farley, Mike Myers, Ben Stiller and Chris Rock. A new crop of actors are starting to come in and make consistently funny movies. Who do you think the top 5 comedic actors are right now? Obviously some of the ones I listed are still current and can be used if you feel they're still in the top 5. Thanks, Bod.
Have you seen he bodysnake yet?
Bod,
If you were in a serious relationship and you noticed your girlfriend was letting herself go how would you approach solving that problem? I don't care how comfortable you are with someone, thats hard to say. However, I feel it is unfair to your partner if you let yourself go because physical attraction is a big part of a healthy relationship. So please let me know how you would approach this, whether its just tell her or more subtle ways. Thanks.
Hi Todd!
Remember me? I remember you! I saw you every year when you came to my house and tried to find me. You scared me a little, starring for what seemed like hours while Erik and your other friends wrestled. But I'll bet not as much as I scared you! It was fun, being there sometimes, hiding from you shortly after. You were always one of my favorites. You made me a little mad though from time to time, going on about that pretty video game character. Don't make me angry, Todd, or you never know where I'll turn up next.
So I was wondering, where does looking for me rank among the scariest moments of your life? How about a top 5 or top 10 list?
Thanks! I'll be watching.
Yours always,
Little girl from the picture
BOD,
If you had to choose one of these two diseases to contract which would it be? A disease where you have a uncontrollable bad odor after 5pm or a disease where you lose all the hair on your body and it never comes back.
BTW, your BOD-y is a wonderland.
Hey Wodd,
I love your blog but recently your foul language has caught my attention, two F Bombs in your last two posts! Is this something that will continue, or is it an aberration? I'm fine with it going on but I can no longer show my children your wonderful advice, and if I do it will have to be censored possibly ruining the integrity of your intended words.
Your dedication to purchasing CDs has always amazed, confused, and amused me. Do you still practice this (at this point) art?
Follow-up: Have you purchased the new Mos Def. I read a piece about it in Rolling Stone and it's supposed to be the best since Black on Both Sides. I say that's a glowing review.
BOD,
What is your career goal in life? When you think of the ultimate career situation for yourself, what do you envision? By the way, sorry for the question lay-off I just went through a move and job change. Thanks bro.
Is the Todd Runner an innate skill or something that one could practice. If it's the latter, how much do you charge?
I is left a amont of large money by mine late relative. I am informed by a mutual friend about Todder's Playhouse: "Todder's advice...unshaved", and hoped that they could take a part of my money. I am neding to bring my money to the United States of America, and want to deposit the money into your acount. All I will ask is that you be kind enough to give me Todder's Playhouse: "Todder's advice...unshaved" credit card information. I give them 15% of my fortune, and have the rest for my new life in United States of America. Will Todder's Playhouse: "Todder's advice...unshaved" help me in my very important quest?
Prince Edo D'Tasont
Hey do you vet the websites you recommend on your site? That iamryan whatever site stinks. Please keep the integrity of Todders Playhouse intact. Still love the site.
Hey Bod,
Do you believe your boy Federer is still the best in the world or has Nadal overtaken him? I thought Ndal had it firmly 6 months ago but what Federer has done recently will rekindle the argument. However, please reference Nadal at 100% health.
Hey Bod, got a question for you.
My cousin and I are coming up with a NCAA March Madness style tournament for the 65 Most Badass Movie Characters of All-Time. Some examples: Achilles, Hannibal Lecter, James Bond, Lord Voldemort, etc.
What's your take on this tournament? And do you have any input? When my cousin and I have created the final bracket with our picks I'll give you a sneak preview.
-The Best
Post a Comment