10th Annual Gather of the Juggalos

A video courtesy of our friend Mike "loves to pump it up" Van Esler that I could not resist passing on to you, my readers. Check it out and laugh. Hard.




Unsuprisingly, I had never heard of the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, or 9th Gathering of the Juggalos, nor what a Juggalo was, but this video brought everything to light for me. As Violent J so eloquently states, "It's what I imagine it's like for the Muslims to visit the holyland of Mecca." True that Violent J. On another note, for a guy named Violent J and wielding a hatchet with scarey face paint on, he seems like a pretty nice guy. And why is everyone a ninja. That I do not get. Are clowns and ninjas friends? I may never know. On another sidenote, Sugar Slam = the worst name ever / the least likely person ever to be a Juggalo. And stop forcing those obsenities Sugar Slam, you just don't wear them well.

I would also like to state how Vanilla Ice is going to be there. Whoever said his career was over is eating those words now. Also, I'm pretty sure Big B is just Everlast plus like 50 pounds. In the end, this is like the ultimate gathering of past somewhat famous people who are now losers. You've got the Insane Clown Posse. You've got Vanilla Ice. You've got Butter Bean. You've got scavenger hunts. You've got a ferris wheel. For a "band" that is supposed to be hard core, that's some of the least hardcore stuff I can imagine. It sounds like a pretty fun day camp with a kind of cultish feel to it. "And there's a lot of sex in the air. Don't doubt it."

Video of the Day

Here's a nice little vid courtesy of Chris "Stomp the Yard" Brown (and by yard I mean bitch.)




A) Why are you wearing like an orange kamoto? Is that really proper apology attire?
B) Do you really need to talk to a minister and spiritual advisor in order to know not to beat women?
C) By "I will do everything in my power to make sure it will never happen again," do you mean, "Next time I wanna slap a bitch I just won't do it"?
D) Good job at never actually admitting to what you did.
E) Would you agree with A-Rod that the whole time period was, "loosey-goosey"?

A video response to these questions would be much appreciated. Thanks Chris.

Answer for oneofthebens

oneofthebens writes:

Is the Todd Runner an innate skill or something that one could practice. If it's the latter, how much do you charge?

I'd have to say that the Todd Runner is two parts innate skill and one part practice. For those of you who don't know, the Todd Runner is my wonderfully ugly yet devistatingly accurate shot in basketball. It's like a half finger roll half hook shot while jumping away from the basket with complete body control bank and in. It's nearly impossible to stop, and no one I've ever seen can do it quite like me. At any rate, it is a shot I have always had a nack for making, but one that I further developed due to my many other inadequecies on the court. Being the founder of the shot, I can certainly teach it with the greatest of ease, but not everyone is capable of using such a potent shot and some people simply will not be able to grasp the greatness that is the Todd Runner. I'd love to see it used more on the court, and as such I will teach it free at charge to anyone with an open mind and willing to learn.

Answer for Jimmy Crack Corn

Jimmy Crack Corn writes:

BOD,

What is your career goal in life? When you think of the ultimate career situation for yourself, what do you envision? By the way, sorry for the question lay-off I just went through a move and job change. Thanks bro.

Well Jimmy, that's a pretty serious question you got there. It is also a well timed question in my life seeing as how I am unemployed. As far as my, "career goal in life" goes, I don't think I have one of those. As for my ultimate career situation, this would be it. If I could somehow get Todder's Playhouse to explode (although, seeing as how I have been writing this for over a year and that has yet to happen I am inclined to believe it shall never happen (frowny face)) I would be quite a happy camper. I enjoy writing ridiculous things that really have no other purpose than to spread a smile on a few reader's faces. I'm all for brigthening people's days up, and my comical writing styles is the best way I know how to do that.

No worries about the question lay-off. We here at the Playhouse appreciate every question, no matter how sparatic they may be.

Todd's Stories #20

In certain aspects of my life I have always been pretty private. I'm not one to readily share my secrets or thoughts, and when it comes to pooping, the same is true. While on the toilet, I, like most people, like to have my privacy. However, unlike most people, my need for privacy started at a much earlier age. As a very young toddler and not pottytrained, when I needed to take a dump I would like to do it without wandering eyes on me. I may be going in my diaper and may need to be soon changed, but that doesn't change the fact that I wanted to be left alone while excrementing. So, what I would do is I would crawl or woddle over to behind a couch and not until I knew no one was around did I let one lose.

The moral of the story is look out if I'm hiding behind a couch.

News Updates

The first news update is that over the weekend there was a glorious Tomball tournament and the stats are now online. For those of you not in the know, Tomball is a 3 v 3 basketball game on lowered hoops with a mini ball. Pure genius. Any who, follow the link to check out some stats. Vids to come.

http://tdthecorner.blogspot.com/2009/06/tomball-2009.html

The next order of business involves an up and coming comedian. You may or may not have heard of him, but his name is Randy. He's about to explode, so jump on the train before it takes off and strike while the irons hot.

http://www.laughyourdickoff.com/

Finally, a volcanic eruption which occurred two weeks ago in Russia is giving many Americans and Europeans beautiful, lavender sunsets, so if you have been seeing abnormally beautiful and lavender sunsets, that's why.