Monday, June 8, 2009

Todd's Stories #19

Many of my close friend already know this, but for others this may come as a bit of a suprise: in a former life of mine I was a rap superstar. That is the only explanation for my unparalleled rhyming skills for a white suburbanite. As a youth, I tapped into those skills on many occassions. I also showed my love for the streets with my FUBU and Timberland gear. Although these days my skills are only seen in the rap battle forum, I used to be quite similar to Lil' Wayne, never writing my rhymes down, but always keeping track of them in my head. Here is an example of one of my finest:

It's the T-O-double-D
I don't know why they wanna trouble me
Is it because their bitch be suckin' me
Or it is because my slow flow remarkable
I throw my rhymes like CB-4 and MC Gusto
This ain't nothing on the skeem of thangs
I blow you up worse than Marlon Wayans
Do to Keenin, I be skeemin
It's just the meanin of the thang
Bang Bang Bang, is that you that rang?
Don't come knockin on my door or I'll make you hit the floor
With the power of the Eiffel Tower
Then I'll truly duly smoke a dooby
You're a newby so I'll take it easy, you're sleazy

I don't remember the rest if there was in fact a rest. Another example of my skills comes from an earlier part of my life.

I'm stronger than King Kong
And smarter than Phil Phong
And I'll beat you at ping pong

For those of you that don't know, Phil Phong is quite smart.

The moral of the story is I will slay you in a rap battle. Also, I had many issues as a youth.

1 comment:

Ryan said...

i know phil phong is quite smart my sister dated his brother and he was getting his phd and getting paid 50 k a year plus tuition to do it... also 2/3 of the fong children are dr,s phill is a phd and vinny is a phd md... those fongs are smart... it think the sister is stupid though.