Trying to Steal From Dolph? Are You Fucking Kidding Me?

According to my sources, several burglars broke into Dolph Lundgren's place in Spain. Apparently, they even tied up and tormented Dolph's wife. However, when they realized that the housed belonged to Mr. Lundgren after seeing a picture of him in the bedroom, they peaced that place quicker than Dolph's right jab.

Although I can't believe that there is any actual proof that upon seeing said picture the burglars ran off in fear, it is not a very far fetched conclusion. If I broke into a house (which I would never do because I am upstanding citizen) only to discover that it belonged to Dolph Lundgren aka Ivan Drago aka He-Man aka Frank Castle aka GR13, ya God damn right I'd leave that place. Have you seen Universal Soldier? That mother fucker can track down anything. Plus, he's a gigantic Russian. Not someone I want to mess with.

Rocky vs. Drago vs. Jet Li vs. The Monkey King? You Got It

That's right folks, even more Expendables updates. I'm not one to endulge in spoilers for films because I like to be as shocked as possible about what is going to happen in a film, but when Dolph Lundgren speaks, I listen. According to Dolph, "I play a mercenary who's part of Sly's team." Seeing Dolph and Sly team it up on the big screen is not nearly the good part (although it sure as shit is good). Dolph goes on to say, "[My character] ends up getting fired by Stallone. Later in the picture, some other sinister character trying to get back at Sly and his people, hires me to take him out. Because I need the money, I do it. There's a showdown between me, him and Jet Li." What? Are you serious? A show down between Dolph, Sly, and Jet Li? It just doesn't get much better than that (Let the record show that Jet Li played The Monkey King in The Forbidden Kingdom).