Saturday, March 29, 2008

Answer for anonymous

Here is the question I received from anonymous(it's a person who's dad is a big fan of moose):

"Pitch: Attack of the killer tomatoes meets california raisins. Who would you pick to act as the raisins and killer tomatoes(real people in california raisin outfits and in killer tomatoes outfits). what instrument/weapon would they use, and what would the outcome be."

As you may or may not know, I am a huge California Raisins fan and so am very capable of answering this question(Mini-Todd's Stories: I used to make my mom rent me a vhs tape of the raisins in claymation dancing through trees singing "I heard it through the grapevine" nearly everyday. Why we didn't just buy it a I don't know, however two years ago I purchased it via ebay.)

First off, this is a great movie idea. It's got all the makings of the next freddy v. jason except a little more kid friendly. My picks for the raisin wearing actors are as follows: Danny Devito plays the humorous but grouchy raisin. The guy who does all the sound effects from Police Academy plays the black raisin. John Grimes Jr. plays the lanky raisin who has no regard for his body. Jackie Chan plays the karate-chopping raisin who does all of his own stunts. There weapons would be their adaptability to any situation. Also, such a quirky group doesn't really need a weapon because they work so well together and know how to fight. However, they will always have grapevines with them which they can use to choke their enemies, as well as the ability to spit some sort of acidic grape juice which if it gets in your eye stings like hell and if it gets on your clothes will leave a stain forever.

I'll admit that I don't know as much about the Killer Tomatoes as the Raisins, but I can still form a killer cast. Vin Diesel plays the tomato with an attitude who takes no prisoners. Danny Devito doubles as a tomato as well as a raisin playing extremely similar characters. Alex Deutsch plays the slow moving tomato who packs a powerful punch. And finally, the fat black kid from Hook plays the tomato who rolls down the streets bowling over people. The tomatoes weapons include tiny seeds they can spit out of their mouth which bug the hell out of you. They also have a defense mechanism where if you break through the surface of the tomato a highly acidic ooze juices out and burns like crazy if you touch it. They can also roll at extremely high speeds.

The outcome would obviously be a victory for the California Raisins. With John Grime's Jr ability to flop around and remain unhurt and the teams ability to work together is a combination that no tomato can beat. However, many innocent human bystanders are hurt and the battle leaves one heck of a mess which someone will have to clean up (probably Ian Donlon). The End

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