Answer for Ryan

Ryan writes:

Your dedication to purchasing CDs has always amazed, confused, and amused me. Do you still practice this (at this point) art?

Follow-up: Have you purchased the new Mos Def. I read a piece about it in Rolling Stone and it's supposed to be the best since Black on Both Sides. I say that's a glowing review.

First, let me thank you for ending the long drought that has occurred in the Ask Todd section. It is a pleasure to be back doing what I do best: answering questions.

As for your question, yes, I do still practice the art of purchasing CDs. I've always felt the need to support the artists that I like, and as such I continue to buy their cds. These days you can download music legally and pay for it, but seeing as how my laptop is on its' last leg and I don't have a working ipod, I still buy the good ol' hard copy. Plus, I like to have something real, something tangible, to remember the purchase by, whether it be for the good or for the bad. There is no feeling like ripping off that super annoying plastic of a new cd, taking it out, poppin' it in to your cd player, and groovin' to some fresh new beats. Also, sometimes you get bonus artwork and things of the like, and who doesn't want that?

As far as The Ecstatic goes, yes, I did purchase it. It's definitely the most rap from a Mos Def cd since Black on Both Sides (as opposed to the weird boogie-man stuff on the other cds), and I definitely enjoyed it, but a lot of songs were like 2 minutes long which is super frustrating to me. I gotta get geared up before I start to groove, and a lot of the songs on The Ecstatic simply did not allow me to do that. It's a good cd, not great.

Answer for oneofthebens

oneofthebens writes:

Hey Wodd,

I love your blog but recently your foul language has caught my attention, two F Bombs in your last two posts! Is this something that will continue, or is it an aberration? I'm fine with it going on but I can no longer show my children your wonderful advice, and if I do it will have to be censored possibly ruining the integrity of your intended words

First off, I'd like to thank you for your love of the Playhouse. Your fanship is much appreciated.

Now let me just say this: I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about. Just joshing! I understand your concern, but I want you to know that it is completely unfounded. I may have upped the ante on foul language, but I do so when it is necessary and emboldens the statements I write. My belief on curses is that they should be used only when they perfectly accentuate the preceding or postceding (is that a word?) statement. Curses, although they may be a staple of a seedy underbelly of society, can add a level of panache that no normal word can match. I would never want to offend any of my readers, especially none of the children whom are so important to our future, but when I feel a curse is going to due one of my beautifully crafted sentences the most justice, then I'm simply going to have to add it. Besides, your children are bound to run into these curse words on a daily basis so they might as well learn the proper usage of them and how to place them within a sentence to gain the most benefit from them.

I hope you see my side of the coin oneofthebens, and I hope my usage of curse words will not turn you off from the Playhouse. I appreciate your loyalty and would never want to hurt you.

Answer for Jorge

Jorge writes:

BOD,

If you had to choose one of these two diseases to contract which would it be? A disease where you have a uncontrollable bad odor after 5pm or a disease where you lose all the hair on your body and it never comes back.

BTW, your BOD-y is a wonderland.

First off, let me thank you Jorge for complimenting my bod. Anyone who quotes John Mayer while talking about me, especially while talking about my body, is ok by me. That John Mayer sure does have a way with words.

As for your question, I'd say I'd lose all the hair on my body before having uncontrollable bad odor after 5pm. Firstly, since I assume the head and facial hair are excluded from the hair loss, at least I would look normal to unsuspecting bystanders. If I had to lose my eye brows that would be a whole nother story, but since I don't, I'd take the hair loss. Plus, in this day and age I could get surgically transplanted hair where I wanted it all over my body. Body plugs are the newest rage, and I would surely hop on that bus. I could get like tiger hair surgically inplanted on my chest. Pretty bad-ass if you ask me. If not, I could always become a swimmer, and as such have a logical explanation as to why I have no body hair. I admit having no real body hair would be creepy, but smelling bad is the pits, and when that bad smell isn't just coming from your pits, it's even worse. I suppose you could cover it up a bit with eau de toilette, but I don't want to smell like an eighth grade boy getting ready for the big dance for the rest of my life (I won't take this smell covering up where you think I'll take it. That's just mean.) Being the smelly kid is terrible, and being the smelly grown man I would imagine would be that much worse. At least you'd smell ok for the work day, but after that your social life, like your chances of ever getting a girl again, would be gone.

Answer for Little girl from the picture

Little girl from the picture writes:

Hi Todd!

Remember me? I remember you! I saw you every year when you came to my house and tried to find me. You scared me a little, starring for what seemed like hours while Erik and your other friends wrestled. But I'll bet not as much as I scared you! It was fun, being there sometimes, hiding from you shortly after. You were always one of my favorites. You made me a little mad though from time to time, going on about that pretty video game character. Don't make me angry, Todd, or you never know where I'll turn up next. So I was wondering, where does looking for me rank among the scariest moments of your life? How about a top 5 or top 10 list?Thanks! I'll be watching.

Yours always,
Little girl from the picture

First off, this is the most well written question I have yet to receive, so I congratulate you on that. Second off, this is very girl like written, which is impressive since I know a guy had to have written it, unless this is Mrs. Wilhelmsson or something because that's the only woman who may know what this is about.

For those of you that aren't in the know, the little girl from the picture is in reference to a picture that was in our dear friend Erik Wilhelmsson's house. Every year for birthday time Erik would have a sleepover party at his house, and there, waiting, would be this picture. It was a creepy picture with this girl in it that always seemed to move around (if I remember correctly). If you've ever seen the episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark? where people get trapped in paintings, it is the exact same thing. Anway, this question did indeed catch me off gaurd and I could not quite figure out what it was referencing, but when I did the memories came flooding back.

In truth, looking for you, Little girl from the picture, never really scared me because I am not a wuss (sometimes). I have indeed been scared by completely irrational things, but this was not one of them. However, I will still conduct a top 5 scarey moments in my life list nonetheless. Admittedly, none of them are all that scarey. I haven't had very many encounters with fear, not only because I am a man, but because I simply haven't had many fear enducing events take place in my life. Sure, I've been scared from movies and such, but not many events have been all that memorable. That being said, the list is a bit dull, but I'll see what I can do to spice it up.

5. Santa Claws. When I was a wee-lad my parents took me to see Santa Clause and he, rightfully so being this jolly old fat man, scared the crap out me and made me cry for many a hour. Needless to say, no picture was ever taken of me with ol' St. Nick. Note: I do not remember this event, just the recounting of it by my parents.

4. The skunk at the garbage bags. One night after a wedding was held at my old house and there was a large amount of garbage bags outside, I went to take out the last one. When I went to place the garbage bag with the rest of them, there waiting for me was a skunk! The fear of being sprayed and smelling like ass and burnt rubber scared me and sent me running back inside, shrieking all the way.

3. The bat behind the shudder. Bats are one of the few creatures I'm not too cool with. They're super gross and I'm not a big fan of getting rabies shots. So you could imagine my suprise when, while removing a shudder from outside of my old house, I found a bat waiting for me behind it. As in the skunk incident, the bat sent me running back inside, shrieking all the way.

2. Where are the Kellys? This is sadder than it is scarey. One night while playing man-hunt with my good friends the Kellys (at their old house with a rather large back yard filled with woods and such) I simply could not find any of them. For what seemed like hours I searched hopelessly in the dark for any member of the Kelly family in hiding. I walked far outside the borders of the game looking for them, still with no avail. I finally, frightened and cold, walked back to the house screaming for them to come out. They were all huddled near the house and laughed at me upon my return. Oh how my feelings were hurt.

1. Fire in the Sky. I saw the movie Fire in the Sky at around the age of ten (complete guess), an age far too young to see such a scarey as fuck movie. It's based on a true story, and when you're of such a young age that pretty much means it's true, which inturn makes it significantly scarier. If that wasn't bad enough, after the movie was done my brother and his friend, who are 6 years older than me, insisted on playing hide and go seek outside in the dark. I did, and of course had to search first. When I found my brother he was hiding in the bushes bobbing back and forth with his hat on backwards. "Russell, Russell, is that you?" I asked. No answer. "Russell, I got you, you're out." No answer. Finally, I went in for a closer look at exactly the same time he decided to jump out and scare the shit out of me. Not fun. Game over. I went inside and I imagine could not fall asleep for quite some time.

If any readers out there want to share some of their past scarey moments feel free to in the comments section.

Answer for Mince Meat

Mince Meat writes:

Growing up, some of my favorite comedic actors were Jim Carrey, Adam Sandler, Chris Farley, Mike Myers, Ben Stiller and Chris Rock. A new crop of actors are starting to come in and make consistently funny movies. Who do you think the top 5 comedic actors are right now? Obviously some of the ones I listed are still current and can be used if you feel they're still in the top 5. Thanks, Bod

I wouldn't consider any of these actors the top 5 comedic actors any more. Jim Carrey is still great, but he mostly does for-realsies movies now and hasn't been in a good comedy in quite some time (crossing our fingers for The Three Stooges). Adam Sandler is a joke. Perhaps Funny People will be good, but that's his only chance at getting back on top of the comedy game without screaming, "Yippidy Doo" at people. Chris Farley is RIP. Mike Myers did The Love Guru. Ben Stiller knows what funny is, but he himself is not all that funny. And I don't know why Chris Rock is still so angry, he's really rich. Comedy is a game that is hard to stay on top of. The top comedian actors go in and out like a revolving door (thanks Crazy Town), and it is rare for the same actor to be the best for a long period of time. With that in mind, I give you my current top 5.

5. Will Ferrell. As little as a year ago he probably would have been higher on this list, but he hasn't made much as of late. However, he helped bring about a whole new bunch of comedians into the game, and The Land of the Lost looks fantastic. He consistently plays the same character, but he plays that character down to the t, and it never gets old.

4. Danny McBride. Like a younger, more white trash version of Will Ferrell, his stock has been on the rise since Will Ferrell saw The Foot Fist Way. Since then he has had terrific roles in Pineapple Express and Tropic Thunder, as well as being the lead in the hilarious HBO show Eastbound and Down, of which he is also a writer. Coming up, he is a co-star in the aforementioned The Land of the Lost, and I also hear we may be seeing him fight a minotaur sometime in the future. That sounds fantastic.

3. Seth Rogen. The ubiquitous comedy actor has been on a role lately, and everything he is in is hilarious and a box-office success. However, now that he is thin in preparation for his role in The Green Hornet, he is not nearly as funny. Fat is way funnier than skinny, and you can take that to the bank and cash it.

2. Jason Segel. I've enjoyed the work of Jason Segel ever since his role as a sex-feend in Slackers, and although there was a rather large gap between that role and his current streak of successful movies and television shows, he has only gotten stronger. He was terrific in Knocked Up. He was terrific in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. And he was terrific in I Love You, Man. Plus, anyone who is willing to show their fat naked body to millions of people is ok by me.

1. Paul Rudd. Although Paul Rudd has only recently become an A-list comedic actor, his dues have long been paid and he is now reeking the benifits. He is not only #1 on this list because he is indeed hilarious, but because of his ability to work with all the different big comedy factions. He is able to go seemlessly between smaller films and "gigs" with the boys of Wet Hot American Summer (not including Wain's Role Models, which was indeed big), to movies with the Ferrell squad, and now more recently with the Apatow gang, and he is terrific in them all.

I probably didn't think of some people, so if you have additions or would like to argue the order of my top 5, feel free to do so in the comments section.

Answer for Anonyous (Ryan Edmund Burke & Whitney Richelle Davis0

Anonymous (Ryan Edmund Burke & Whitney Richelle Davis) said...

I have a medical question that maybe you or Lon might be able to help me with. I fear there may be a dragon living inside my stomach. Thoughts?

Yo, I think that might just be indigestion. Try some Pepto Bismol.

I considered just answering with the above answer, but I wanted you to get your moneys worth so I'll dwell on the question a little further. First, I don't think this is Lon's (my father's) specialty. Although he is knowledgeable on all things medical related, he generally does not delve into the realm of mythic creatures. Maybe he does and he's just been keeping a secret all these years, but I doubt it.

Secondly, as long as you don't feel any intense burning in your stomach (burning, get it, cause dragons breath fire and fire burns stuff) I say leave it be. If you are blessed enough to have what arguably could be the only dragon left on this planet residing in your stomach, just let him or her be. Assuming that this dragon can breath fire, which, in case you weren't unaware, they all can't do, but assuming this one can, he/she is pretty much doing the job of your stomach acids anyway. Instead of your food being broken down by acids it's being charbroiled via dragon breath. It's the same thing pretty much.

Finally, if the dragon breaks through your stomach lining with his/her flames, you should probably go to the hospital or something.

Answer for Anonymous

Anonymous writes:

Biochemical Oxygen Demand (BOD) is a chemical procedure for determining how fast biological organisms use up oxygen in a body of water. It is used in water quality management and assessment, ecology and environmental science. BOD is not an accurate quantitative test, although it could be considered as an indication of the quality of a water source.

I read further and it essentially is used to measure the effectiveness of wastewater treatment plants. Not so glorifying.

Are you upset that the acronym that is used to refer to you has such a boring and disgusting meaning?

Thank you for the deeper level of meaning of my name, The Bod. I appreciate the hard work that you conducted and in depth research you did in order to find another meaning for my name. You're hard work does not go unappreciated or unnoticed and will not be forgotten, although since you are anonymous there is no one to take credit for it so it probably will be forgotten. Sorry.

Personally, I am quite honored to have a name that coincidentally (or not, wink wink) stands for a very important test. It may not be the most glamorous of tests, not your "Brangelina" of oxygen tests so to speak, but that doesn't make it any less important. If it weren't for BOD, who knows how oxygen-free and gross our recycled water would be? In these days of high bottled water prices and decreased water availability, clean water from wastewater treatment plants is more important than ever, and there is no better way to test the cleaniness of the water than BOD.

Again, thanks for the research, and anytime you're stumped by a question, don't be afraid to Ask Todd.

Answer for Jimmy Crack Corn

Jimmy Crack Corn writes:

Bod Pod,
Who is the most unbelievable, mismatched couple in Hollywood? Personally, I think it is Macaulay Culkin and Mila Kunis. I may be biased because I think she is one of the hottest women on the planet and he is one of the weirdest but I believe I am not alone in my thought. Let me know. Thanks bro.

This is a very difficult question because there are just so many Hollywood couples out there. There's Brangelina. There's Johniston. There's Timberbeil. There's Demikutch. As you mentiod, there'e Culkikuni, which, by the way, is a terrific couple. There are just so many it's hard to choose which couple is the best. However, if we are rating based on mismatchedness, Sascha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher are up there. How someone so hot can date someone who had a fat, hairy, naked man sit on his head, I'll never know. Culkikuni is also up there, but who could resist Mr. Home Alone himself. Kunis, besides the hotness, is quite annoying so I could see that being quite a detracation. Seal and Heidi Klum are also a bit of a strange couple, but who could resist that voice. One word of Kiss From a Rose and I'd be all his.

Other than that, it seems most Hollywood couples make a decent amount of sense, so I guess the question wasn't that hard after all. I hope that answer was sufficient.

Answer for oneofthebens

oneofthebens writes:

I noticed that when I asked for a slogan competition I also wanted t-shirts, could you please give us a realistic update on that?

Also, do you really get spam comments where you actually need the word verification filter?

Honestly, I forgot about the teachers (after re-reading this I noticed that teachers is supposed to be t-shirts, but I thought the error was funny enough to keep). It's not because I don't love the idea, because I do, it's just that no one at the time really stood out as deserving of a Todder's Playhouse t-shirt and so I guess it just up and left my mind. Realistically, I could see the t-shirts coming to life, I just need to think of some sort of contest or scale of deservingness to decide who should get one. You have my word that I will work on it.

As far as the word verification filter goes, I didn't even know what that was for, and so no, I have never gotten spam comments. And good thing too, because if someone hacked into The Bod Says section and started writing things that The Bod didn't actually say, I would not be a happy camper.