What a Billion Dollar Home Can Get You.

I recently discovered that the first billion dollar home has been finished. You can check it out below.


(A billion dollars just can't quite get you what it used to.)















Now let's go over some of the parts that make this monstrosity just so damn expensive. The bottom six floors are a parking lot. Why you need so much parking space is beyond me, but I guess the owner has one hell of a car collection. Every floor differs in design and materials, which is more or less the most pointless thing I can imagine. It has railings made of silver, I guess to prevent splinters or anything of the sort. And it also has a four floor garden, which not only offers aesthetic beauty, but saves the building some energy. Well gee-whiz, aren't these guys environmentally friendly.

This dumb-ass, hideous looking house got me thinking. If I wanted to waste a lot of money which could go to a lot of better causes what would I do? Well, I thought of the real Todder's Playhouse, my dream home, so be prepared for a place of wonder.

First off, I would have a fully-functioning bowling alley. I think about six lanes would be good, but changes can be made if needed. Right next to those would be four full sized, indoor badminton courts. I don't want the elements to be involved at all. Next to that would be a full sized basketball court and a full sized football field. This will be the sports floor and the most important floor. The next few floors will have things such as bedrooms, movie theaters, bathrooms, full sized Olympic swimming pools, a trampoline room with padded sides and trampoline floor, a room with one of those fans that people use to practice sky diving, a go-cart track, a room with no gravity, an arcade room, and the biggest kitchen you've ever seen. There will also be a farm right outside the house where we will raise organically fed chicken and cows and there will be a garden with fruits and vegetables. Everything eaten in the house will come from this farm and the methane created by the animals feces will power the entire house. How's that for sustainability!

Well, that's the real Todder's Playhouse. I hope you think it's as great as I do. Maybe I'll see you there one day. Until that day, let's just keep on dreamin' and keep on writin'.