Let's Get Big

No, this isn't a post about juicing or getting your, "pump on." This is a post about spreading the word of Todder's Playhouse. After 16 posts I believe I have paid my dues and deserve to have my blog take off. You may be asking yourself, "Why does this kid deserve to have a popular and famous blog?" Well, in response, I would say, "Because I have the best sense of humor and best blog you can find out there." You may reply, "Why do you have have the best sense of humor?" This time I would respond saying, "Trust me kid, I do."

Now that that's settled, I think all of you should do your part to spread the word about Todder's Playhouse. If you had the slightest shred of decency in you you spread the word about this blog so that others too can enjoy it and have a little sunshine added to their lives. Why should you five or six people that occasionally read this be the only ones to bask in my knowledge and wisdom? I appreciate your loyalty and love and I will never forget about you until I'm at the top. However, the rest of the world deserves to have a little fun in Todder's Playhouse as well. So go out there, and spread the word. I'll be waiting.

The Poor Man's Actors

This post is dedicated to poor man's actors. This is referring to actors who remind you of other, better actors. You, or at least I do, get them confused with their superior actor or actress. It is annoying at times, but on occasions makes for a good laugh. Here they come.

Eric Bana: The Poor Man's Christian Bale

Eric Bana and Christian Bale come first because this is the weakest of the comparisons. It was better before Eric Bana's star started to rise. Pre-Munich, this was a pretty solid poor man's actor comparison. They look slightly similar, besides Bale's fang like teeth (I don't know why he hasn't played a vampire yet), and nowadays, are both solid actors.



(Watch out for those dragons Mr. Bale.)

Geena Davis: The Poor Man's Julia Roberts

Oh, they may not look too much alike, but you get them mixed up sometimes, admit it. Maybe not so much now that Geena Davis has all but disappeared, but back in the days of Beetlejuice and before Julia Roberts became so famous, the two were indistinguishable. Julia may have left Geena in the dust, but Geena's memories live on.



(Julia's now the one in a league of her own(Get it, Geena Davis was in a movie called A League of Their Own(Good one right.)))

Val Kilmer: The Poor Man's Brad Pitt

Who amongst us hasn't asked, "Who's that guy that's not Brad Pitt?" I know I have. On numerous occasions I have mixed the two up and needed help figuring out who was who. These days, while Brad is off saving Africa and adopting children with Angelina, Val has pretty much disappeared. However, there was a time, not too long ago, when anyone could have confused the two. I for one thought that Val was going to be the really famous one. I turned out to be way off. Only one of them could move on, and it was Brad.




(I think Val's the better looking one? Plus, with a name now Val, how can you lose?)

Skeet Ulrich: The Poor Man's Johnny Depp

There was a time right after Chill Factor where I though to myself, "Wow, this guy is going to be big." I thought that because I though Skeet Ulrich was Johnny Depp. Although Johnny did make it big, poor ol' Skeet was left behind. Skeet is making a bit of a name for himself in Jericho, but in my mind, he'll always be that guy that's not Johnny Depp.



(Skeet must have been mad when the word Skeet "came" to mean cumming on a girls face. Probably Johnny's worst movie can be seen here.")


So those are my poor man's actors. They are a bunch of actors who, for some reason, were just left behind. It's sad really, but there can't be two of the same people hitting it big in Hollywood, that just wouldn't be right. Though it is a matter of survival of the fittest amongst these actors I beg of you, please at least think of the lesser actor when you see the better one up their on the big screen.

Exciting Movie Stuff

I just wanted to inform everybody out there of some really tasty little nuggets of movie goodness. I know I said enough of the sequels, but these are more humorous than anything else, so please do take them with a grain of salt.  I am excited about them, but not for serious.

 

First of all, Sylvester Stallone has begun talks about a Cliffhanger sequel called The Dam.  Now, anyone who has seen Cliffhanger has to be ecstatic  about this.  I loved seeing young Sylvester climbing a mountain, why wouldn't I love seeing old Sylvester climbing what I can only assume is going to be a dam?  Sounds brilliant to me.  Now if only John Lithgow and Michael Rooker were returning, then we'd be in business.

Next is Wolverine.  We all know that my Tomball name is AKA and one of those akas' is Gambit.  Well, it turns out the producers of the movie must have caught word of this and decided to add Gambit to the cast of the movie.  Gambit, as we all know, is possibly the biggest bad ass of all of the mutants, and hence was named after me.  His addition to the cast of Wolverine takes the movie up many notches and makes me very happy.

(Doesn't he look like me?)

Finally, a word about the new Street Fighter Movie.  Although the movie is probably going to suck since it is about Chun-Li, that air spinning, annoying bitch, there still is hope.  Any movie about a Super Nintendo video game has potential, and this is no different.  My only hope is that some how they will get Jean Claude van-Damme to return as Guile.  If not, they obviously don't know what they are doing and don't want me to see nor endorse their movie.

Anywho, those are my movie updates.  Some very exciting stuff happening out there in tinsel town, so stay tuned for more news.

Snow

I've realized something kind of sad today.  Unless you are a child or you classes are canceled because of it, snow is usually nothing more than a pain in the ass.  Sure it looks pretty, and who doesn't get a hankering to make the occasional snow angel, but when you have to go places, snow is the pits.  The only time driving in the snow is fun is when you are in a parking lot with no one else and can do donuts and what not.  Actually, for the Jeep, that is the only possible time to do donuts otherwise there is a rather high probability of tipping.  And walking in the snow is just as bad.  Walking through what seems to be a dirt slirpee is never enjoyable, especially when it splashes up onto your pants.  I hate wet pants almost as much as I hate being sticky.  Also, there isn't nearly as much snow as there used to be.  When people get excited when there is like 3 inches of snow on the ground it's pretty sad.  

I remember the days where a new foot of snow was dropped everyday.  Nothing made me feel as good as yelling, "They stopped making hot lunches"(the obvious sign that it was going to be a half day at school.)  Snow levels were so high it was as if you were walking in between giant white walls after you shoveled it (walls of glorious snow that is).  And sledding, faget about it.  There were no worries at all because the snow was so high you couldn't possibly get hurt.  The only thing that could hurt you was AJ throwing large branches at your back.  Otherwise, there wasn't a care in the world.

The truth of the matter is, unless you are in BLC or at the top of a mountain, snow just isn't the same, and that's a shame.  I long for the carefree days of being a child where transportation was never an issue.  But these days, snow is nothing more than a nuisance. 

Funniest Announcers Ever

I would like to take this time to recognize the glory that is my newest webpage. It is a website dedicated to the sports broadcasters I believe to be the funniest. There are five of them, and the choices are spot on. If you are in the mood to have a great time while browsing a relatively small website, then head right over to http://www.comportal.villanova.edu/multimedia/todde/funniestannouncers.html
It's a great website for sports fans and non-fans alike. It was masterfully created by yours truly and deserves to become a very highly visited website, so make it happen and visit.

In other news, this ridiculous changing of temperature needs to stop. When I was younger and the weather would change from cold to hot, I would stretch my t-shirts to try and make them longer so that they would seem like long sleeve shirts because I didn't like the change. With this in mind, you can see why this whether bugs me so much. Just stay one temperature weather. There is no need to be warm until spring and there is no need to drop 30 degrees overnight. Make up your mind because you're making me mad.

American Gladiators or American Fadiators?

I have recently received some well deserved words of praise and encouragement about my blog from my fans and friends alike. One such friend asked for a detailed comparison of the old vs. the new versions of American Gladiators. Not one to disappoint my fans, I now present my comparison.

Gladiators
In the old American Gladiators, it seems as though much of the competition was based on roid-rage. The Gladiators were enormous, but strictly in an unnatural way.




(This is Tower. Named so for a reason(He's as strong and as big as a tower.))






As you can see by the picture of the lovely Tower, the old American Gladiators were huge. Not that the new ones aren't large as well, but they are more sleek and cut. The old ones were more raw and angry. Also, the new American Gladiators always seem greased up, and that kind of enhancement just doesn't do it for me. Plus, the names of the old gladiators were much more funny. They are so simple and dim-witted that one can't help but be amused. Seeing as how most of the names come from naturally occurring events, especially storms (storm being a name as well), you have to enjoy them. Names like Thunder, Lightning, Ice and Diamond just can't be ignored. Point goes to old American Gladiators.

Contestants
Here there is not too much of a difference. Contestants both old and new are in relatively good shape and usually pretty uninteresting. However, the old contestants more often than not tended to have mullets, and that is a plus in my category. Also, in the new American Gladiators half of the show is the reaction of the contestants and their back stories. I don't give a crap about your back stories. All I want to see is Tower and Thunder tackling the shit out of you. I don't care how happy you are to be here, how uplifting your story is, or how hard you are going to try. I just want to see you be destroyed and humiliated. Point goes to old American Gladiators.

Hosts
I don't really know that much about the old hosts, and that's the point. I don't really care to hear the hosts chit-chatting for a half hour when I could be seeing contestants being knocked all over the place. As much as I love Hulk Hogan (sorry about the divorce big guy) and Muhammad Ali's daughter, I am more interested in seeing the contestants being ripped down from the rings or decked while trying to put a ball in a hoop. Point goes to old American Gladiators.

Events
Many of the events in the old and new American Gladiators are the same. We all know what they are so I won't go into much detail. However, in the new American Gladiators only 3 events are shown per episode (not including the Eliminator) to the old's 5. Plus, the new Gladiators got rid of some of the best events, including the Maze and the event where the contestants try to score a touchdown and then do some sort of sumo event. Also, the old events were much more physical. Probably partially do to the roid-rage discussed earlier, the old gladiators were far more fearsome and angry and more likely to cause someone injury, and that is what we really want to see. Full on body tackles were aplenty in the old episodes and have become a bit of a rarity these days. The new events do however have a couple redeeming factors. First, in the joust and in the rings as well as in other events, water is present. It is generally much more amusing to see some idiot fall into the water then onto some padding. If they fell onto concrete or something that might be better, but water trumps those foam pads any day in my book. Also, the Eliminator is superior in the new episodes as well. This is because all of the harder sections are at the end. I like seeing the contestants inevitably struggle on the inclined treadmill thing. I don't want it to be so easy for them as it was in the old ones. The new Eliminator does have the flaw of it being really easy when you fall however. If you fall from the hand bike or that thing you have to spin down all you have to do is climb back up and keep moving. These idiot contestants though continue to try to do the hand bike when they could just jump down, run across, and keep going. My take on it is that the gladiators should be waiting for them and if they fall they should get speared or something. That would be much more difficult and amusing. Still, the overall point for events goes to old gladiators.

In the end, it is obvious that the old American Gladiators were much better. Whether it be due to nostalgia or the much more ridiculous nature of it, the old gladiators by far trump the new ones. And with the sole reason of tying in the title, I ask you, are these American Gladiators or are they American Fadiators, simply here for a short stint and then gone again? Think about it. I know I will.

Any further American Gladiator questions can be left on my blog as well as personal thoughts and comments.

Welcome back Indy, and Harrison.

The trailer for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was recently released, all be it mostly snippets of the other Indiana movies.  Despite this, the movie itself still looks pretty sweet.  This blog is not however about the trailer.  It is about sequels and about Harrison himself.  First off, although I am a fan of this sequel because Indian Jones is a pimp, the day of the sequel has to come to an end.  Some movies are good enough to deserve a sequel, but especially Sylvester Stallone has to give it a break.  Usually resurrecting a series destroys it, and I hope Indiana will not be yet another caution story of the danger of sequels.  

The heart of this blog is about Mr. Ford.  Harrison, or Harry as I like to call him, used to be the man.  He did the Star Wars movies, he did the Indiana Jones movies, he did Fugitive, and it seemed as though he was on top of the world.  Then, some where in between 6 days and 7 nights, Air Force One, and Firewall, he lost his way.  Hopefully this is a return to the old Harrison.  The Harrison who strutted his thing across the silver screen with no regard for others.  The Harrison that lived life with a Blastech DL-44 and a whip and wouldn't hesitate to kill you with either if you looked at him the wrong way.  We miss you Harrison, we hope you still have that edge and we hope to see you soon.  

Love,

Your loyal fans

Calling all fans.

I would like to take this time to extend my hand to all of my loyal fans, any new fans, and all fans to come in the future. I sit here, behind the computer screen, in my large and comfortable thrown, and wonder, what do my fans want to hear about? Although I may seem egocentric at times, and those of you who think so have been heard and will be dealt with accordingly, I do care about my fans. They are who I write for. Make no mistake, I do not write for myself. These thoughts I put down are constantly flowing through my brain and no blog is needed for me to hear them. This blog is for you. It is a median through which I can educate you and teach you about the world and about all that is great about myself. As such, I try to do my best to help all of you with your journey through life. However, I am only one extraordinary man. As such, I do not always recognize the needs of my people. That is why it is up to you, my fans and viewers, to give me input on what you want to hear about. Don't be shy. I will take your comments and feed off of them, spawning even more information, more information than you have ever dreamed of. So, all you Todder's Playhouse fans out there, send me your comments so that I can further educate you about your concerns. Do not be afraid, I will only make fun of you if it is a dumb comment you have sent me. Until next time, this is Todd, Todder's Playhouse.

Beards

While browsing the internet from the kitchen counter of my girlfriend's house I realized something: there are a lot of beard posers out there.  Although I once was opposed to the beard, after being tricked into growing one while abroad I have grown in and out of beards frequently.  I have always had a remarkable ability to grow facial hair and a thick beard, I just never took advantage of it.  After that first birth of beard beauty it has been mostly beard and scruff for me, and although I look dirty at times, that's fine with me.  However, I have recently taken notice to the increase of beards out there in the world.  To those people out there trying to grow their trendy facial hair I only have one thing to say to you: Your facial hair is not as good as mine and just give up.  I liked having a beard when I was the only one.  Now that more and more people feel the need to have one it's just not the same.  Granted I rarely see a beard as glorious as mine, it still pushes my buttons when I see someone else around my age with a beard.  Call me self-centered, but I want me and only me to have a beard (and maybe some of my friends if it's funny).  In the end, it turns out my growing a beard is like me wearing a puffy vest in the third grade, it started a very popular trend once other people saw how good I looked with it.

Gaining momentum

My last post had a ridiculous amount of comments on it and a new record number of comments for my blog (two). Judging by the remarkable amount of excitement my blog is obviously stirring up I felt I had a duty to my viewers to kick up another well written, thought provoking blog on life. However, I am currently going through what fine authors such as myself call, "writers block." I don't really know what to write about. I know whatever it is which I choose to write about will be articulate and masterfully written, I just can't seem to think of a specific topic to enlighten my viewers about. Normally I have ideas spewing out left and right, but for some reason I can't think of anything good enough to reach the outrageous standards which I have previously set. With that said, I am leaving this post as an acknowledgment that I know my numerous loyal fans are out there and waiting for a new post and that they are lost without one. Despite this, they will have to continue to wait until I think of a topic important enough to be worthy of my writing about it. Thank you for your patience.

Wall-E is a fraud

I have known this fact for a while and I have finally decided to voice my concern publicly about it. Wall-E, the new movie and character in an upcoming Pixar film, is a fraud. You may be asking yourself how that cute, innocent looking robot could possibly be a fraud. You may also be asking yourself how this kid knows Wall-E is a fraud and he hasn't even seen the movie yet. Well, I'll tell you how I know he's a fraud, because I've seen the movie Short Circuit. In Short Circuit, there is a robot named Johny 5, a robot that Wall-E is a direct replication of, only in cartoon form.

You can see for yourself what a phony Wall-E really is. They have the same puppy-dog eyes, strikingly similar features, and they even have the same way of moving using those triangular pads (although this cannot be seen in this picture it is the truth). I've known of the greatness of Johny 5 for quite some time now, and to see his character being blatantly stolen and turned into a cartoon is a crying shame. Johny 5 was a robot of integrity and love and one which would never want to see himself turned into a cartoon for a quick buck. Johny 5 was and will always be a hero to me, and this Wall-E character will never be able to live up to his name. Long live Johny 5.

Rule of Life #2

This rule of life is not as important as the first, but should still be dealt with with a great amount of care and respect. The rule I am referring to is the rule of waving and thanking someone that lets you go when you're driving. If someone stops their car or lets you turn first, your response should be to raise your hand to acknowledge that they did something nice for you. If you don't have the decency to show your fellow human being that you appreciate their kind gesture than you deserve to be t-boned by oncoming traffic. A little bit of respect goes a long way, so every now and then show your com rads in driving that their kind gestures are not going unnoticed.