Steve, more commonly known as Weave, asks this:
Todd,
When is it acceptable to wear a hockey jersey?
Weave
I must admit I don't know that much about hockey. Growing up under the roof of Lon Easton is not conducive to hockey players and as such I never really got into it. However, I still know when it is acceptable and not acceptable to wear a hockey jersey, so here we go.
It is acceptable to wear a hockey jersey to a hockey game. It is not acceptable to wear a hockey jersey to any other sporting event. It is acceptable to wear a hockey jersey while driving a Zamboni. It is not acceptable to wear a hockey jersey while ice skating at the local skating rink while holding hands with your girlfriend. It is acceptable to wear a hockey jersey if you are Canadien. It is not acceptable to wear a hockey jersey just because you've been to Canada. It is acceptable to wear a hockey jersey if you are a big burly man with a beard. It is not acceptable to wear a hockey jersey if you're a little sissy and have never even shaven. It is acceptable to wear a hockey jersey if you are missing several teeth. It is not acceptable to wear a hockey jersey if you have a sparkling set of pearly whites. It is acceptable to wear a hockey jersey to your local dive bar. It is not acceptable to wear a hockey jersey to the nearest rave. It is acceptable to wear a hockey jersey if you have a black eye. It is not acceptable to wear a hockey jersey if you have pink eye. It is acceptable to wear a hockey jersey if you are actually a fan of the sport and follow it regularly. It is not acceptable to wear a hockey jersey because you think you look cute in it. And finally, it is acceptable to wear a hockey jersey if you are playing a pick up game of ice hockey or roller hockey. It is not acceptable to wear a hockey jersey if you are playing knock hockey or tonsil hockey.
I hope this helps. If you have any more questions don't ever be afraid to ask. I am here for you, like I'm here for all my fans and friends.
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3 comments:
coming from a legitimate ice hockey family, i have to disagree with you, todd. i grew up with the game, played a few games, went to hundreds of games, and i think that i am more of an expert than you in this category. it is only appropriate to wear a hockey jersey when you are under the age of 13 and attending a hockey game- otherwise all jersey wearing activities are deemed inappropriate and those wearing jersey are subject to humiliation on the spot.
i second what brittany said. i'm not a huge fan of hockey, and while your blog was humurous and made me laugh, brittany is correct.
what about wearing them to bed? with only tight whiteys on? like if it's oversized? ya know and it covers to like your knees...i guess kinda like a dress
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