Attack of the Ligers

We all thought it was funny when Napoleon Dynamite said his favorite animals was the Liger. Little did we know that the animal actually existed and is no mythical beast. A liger is a mix between a male lion and a female tiger.




(That's a big fucking cat.)














Now my question to you is why the fuck would we make such a gigantic fucking cat? This thing weighs in at a half ton, and it's only 3 years old. I wouldn't want to be alone with a tiger or a lion, never mind a mix that dwarfs both of them. It may look friendly here, but god damn I would not want to have a close encounter with that thing.

The worst part is, it's size is not the only impressive aspect of the liger. It eats like 200 lbs of meat a day. It can run 50 mph. And, unlike other big cats, it enjoys swimming and is not afraid of the water.

This is greatly reminiscent of the movie Deep Blue Sea, except only with ferocious land animals. We just had to see what would happen when we cross bread lions and tigers didn't we. It's only a matter of time before the liger's brain size grows and it realizes how bad ass it is and decides to eat every person it sees. This time though we won't have LL Cool J to save us(If a movie is made with the same premise of Deep Blue Sea except with the liger, the theme song will be sung by LL Cool J with the chorus going, "My head is like a liger's paw").

Add the likelihood of ligers taking over the land to the already occurring take over of the seas by giant stingrays and starfishes and you got one hell of a problem on your hands. All we'll have left is the sky, and it's only a matter of time before eagles and ostriches are mixed to create some giant bird of prey. When that happens we'll have nothing left. I pray that day does not come soon.