Answer for One of the Bens

One of the Bens writes:

The Bearded Bod,How should one tip. Is it really ever acceptable to not leave anyting?

Well one of the Bens, I personally like to leave a gentlemanly 20% (we'll be discussing restaurants only. I don't have the kind of time it would take to discuss all types of tipping. Plus, I think I have in a past post). If the service is good the waiter deserves it (plus it makes you seem like the man). Come on, this is how they make there living. However, 20% is not always the way to go.

If the bill is really low then I sometimes find it a good idea to leave more than 20%. For example, lets say the bill comes to $16 and all you have is a $20 bill, don't be a deuche, just leave the $20. It'll make you seem like a good guy and who knows, next time you return perhaps the waiter will remember you as that cool kid who tipped a lot and give you extra special care.

So far we have only touched upon good service. Now let's get to the ugly stuff: bad service.

If the service is sub-par then feel free to go as low as 10% depending on how bad it is. It is my belief that all restaurants should have little scales placed on all the tables. The scale starts at 25% for the best service you've ever received and ends with 5% for the worst service ever. After each mistake made my the waiter or waitress you dock them a percentage point. That way there are no suprises at the end and everyone knows what's going down. Of course this is a completely objective scale, but that's the nature of the beast that is tipping anyway.

Truthfully, I don't know if it is ever acceptable to just leave nothing. I have never come across a situation where 0% was necessary. However, since that is a boring answer I will give some hypothetical situations for no tipping which I have never personally come across. For instance, if you had allergies and informed the waiter or waitress of these allergies and they gave you something with ingredients you were allergic to and you died, I would think that not only should there be no tip whoever you were with probably shouldn't even pay the bill. Or if you order soup and there's a used condom in it you probably shouldn't leave a tip. Or if you go to the Outback Steakhouse and the waiter or waitress doesn't have rolled up sleeves and doesn't sit next to you to take your order, don't leave a tip. However, these are all extremely rare events which I have never personally witnessed. If anyone out there has other examples of when not to tip, feel free to share.