You've Done it Again Sylvester

(The soft core porn king himself.)


I wanted to take this time out to praise Sylvester Stallone and his ability to write somewhat decent scripts (which in and of itself is amazing since he seems partially mentally handicapped) and somehow assemble incredible casts for them. The latest and greatest example of this comes with his new movie The Expendables.


The movie is about a team of mercenaries who head to South America with the mission to overthrow the dictator of Corza (Made up country or not? I cerainly don't know). I don't want to give you too much of the plot because I don't want to blow your fucking mind with how good it is (it seems ok), but the cast is absolutely phenomenal. It is not certain who plays what character, but as of now the cast includes Stallone himself, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Forrest Whitaker, and Randy Couture. With the exception of Whitaker, that's like a who's who of terrible acting Hollywood badasses (Note: Whitaker was badass in Ghost Dog, but he's also the only one amongst them that can act). They are also trying to get Sandra "I'm super annoying" Bullock to join the cast, but hopefully that doesn't go through (hopefully Stallone and Bullock weren't as close as they looked in Demolition Man otherwise they may in fact get her to join.)

My hope is that midway through the movie there is some internal fighting within The Expendables and it becomes some sort of free-for-all blood bath amongst the members of the group. The only way that that could get any better would be if Governor Arnold, Wesley "Wesley don't pay no taxes" Snipes, and the Muscles from Brussells joined in on the fighting. Then this truly would be the greatest movie of all time.