Rome Yells, "Stay Away Litter Bugs"

For all those visiting Rome this summer, be careful where you eat your delightful gelatos and sip on your savory cappuchinos. As of July 10th, you could be fined up to $80 for snacking near the sites of Rome's historical center. As if being fined for littering weren't bad enough, now you could be banned for indulging in some of Rome's tasty treats in the wrong locations as well.

This is an unprecedented attack on American tourists. Don't the Italians know that Americans can't help but snack. All day it's snack snack snack snack snack. And now you're trying to tell us to not snack near monuments and sites centuries old and older than the United States itself. Well, I say shame on you Italy. Maybe if you didn't make such delicious and portable treats visitors wouldn't be so tempted to carry them around. Not to mention that nearly all of Rome is historical so where are we supposed to snack. In a restaurant? Get real. I don't know if this is a slite jab at our obesity "epidemic", or simply a way of pointing out that you have historical monuments worth preserving while America doesn't really, but either way this cut burns. No really. All that walking without being able to snack burns. But it's kind of like a good burn, you know?

The ordinance also prevenst bums from making "make-shift beds" (what the hell does that mean), and it cracks down on drunks as well as, littering, and loitering at night in central areas. I guess all those things are ok. I just want to snack.