Answer for anonymous

Anonymous writes:

Dear Todd,

I have become very unhappy with my body lately and am considering
undergoing a change. Villanova girls seem to be over the whole "devilishly
handsome human" thing- I think they're looking for something a little more
exotic.

That said, I'd like your help in choosing what body to inhabit (purely for the
sake of picking up chicks). Would a villanova girl like:

A big Sexual Robot?

http://www.craphound.com/images/freerobotsex.jpg

A holy, long-necked dino?

http://www.sirlin.net/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/jesus_dinosaur.JPG

Or an alien?

http://www.oddee.com/_media/imgs/articles/a99_jackson.jpg

I look forward to your response. The fate of the world (or at least my
love life) depends on it.

First off, this is the strangest question I have received thus far, so congrats on that. I also appreciate the accompaniment of pictures with the questions. It makes my job much easier. Second off, I would like to end all of this use of "anonymous." We here at Todder's Playhouse are trying to build a community of caring and respect, and the only way to accomplish that goal is full disclosure of who you are (especially the person who dared insult me and say I don't speak the truth on the answer to Ryan's question. That person has no soul.)

That stuff being said, let's get started with the answering. First of all, I don't think I can ever be attracted to an alien. Although they are probably the closest to humans out of all the choices, they are just so typically trying to destroy civilization and human life. Why would I want that for a lover? Not to mention they are always so slimy and gooey. The lubrication may be convenient at certain moments (such as when a rusty door is squeaking) but other than that it's just down right gross. Of course there also may be other types of aliens we are unaware of. If you were transformed into like some sort of sexy alien with big boobs that would be ideal, but otherwise forget about it.

The dino should not even be considered. I know you are looking for exotic, but at least for me, beasteality is not so cool. Not to mention I don't know where you would get all of those vertebrates from. The only dinosaur I'd be attracted to would be the real deal. Considering we have never actually seen a live dinosaur the transformation would be more of an artist rendering than anything else, and that is simply something I cannot stand for.

Robots on the other hand are the wave of the future. It's only a matter of time before we all have our own personal robots, both as sex slaves and workers. The one thing to be careful of though is to make sure you get human genitals. I personally would not want to make love to bunch of metal. There are too many risks involved and too much could go wrong. That being said, if you have the proper sexual organs I think the sexual robot is the way to go.

I hope these answers help anonymous. Although we here at Todder's Playhouse don't necessarily promote these types of bodily transformations we can never turn down a question. Thanks for asking and good luck with the surgery. I'm sure you'll do great.